You’re already worn-thin and depleted from battling to stay afloat and having to be relentlessly resilient, and hoping that life will give you a break and lay down some smoother water for you to sail on is a compelling idea.
But life comes along with another curveball, another squall, another stormfront of adversity for you to find a way through.
Here are some thoughts I've found useful time and time again.
Create the space you need
The initial impact of fresh adversity sure does sting.
If you need to sit peacefully for an hour or two, do it. If you want to go and walk in nature and breathe, do it. If you feel like pouring it all out in a journal, do it. If you want to switch it all off and take a nap in your favourite chair, do it. If you want to simply enjoy the company of your partner or a friend, do it.
Refine your environment
When you’re already depleted, one of the best choices you can make is to remove from your environment the things that drain your energy and create more frustration.
Stop doom-scrolling. Listen to music over news. If you want to consume content, seek content that restores you and nourishes you.
Grieve
Relentless adversity demands it.
Because all the time you cling to the status-quo, a picture you held of how things would be, or a sense of fairness, you’re storing up unprocessed energy and trauma.
That isn’t benign, so you have to bathe that with compassion and learn the language of grief.
Connect to what your energy allows
The energy to stand up, show up and get back to the fight can be hard to summon when you’re feeling worn-thin.
So it’s absolutely okay—and definitely enough—to use the energy you have to connect with what you can.
That might be family or close friends. It might be your home. It might be a personal project or a creative outlet. It might be your health and fitness. It might be your team. It might be one thing that’s in front of you.
Watch what you rationalise
There’s a line between being stoic and becoming numb, a line between accepting the way things are for your own sanity and rationalising away the unacceptable.
You don’t have to be an exemplar of zen, nor do you have to be fine with it all. Pushing it down, rationalising it away and pretending everything’s great are just short term coping strategies that do you a disservice.
Learn and build
In the middle of adversity there’s always the potential for growth.
There’s the opportunity for you to stretch into the heart of adversity like you might stretch into a yoga position.
You get to learn more about compassion, more about what matters to you, and more about what serves you well.
You get to build in line with your values—demonstrating through your actions the things that matter to you.
You bring so much to the table and have the capacity to learn and build in the most beautiful ways.