The Confidence Effect

I guarantee you that you possess the confidence you need to do what you want to do.

You can make a change happen, start something, finish something, step out of the norm, do something different, clean out the old, bring in the new. You can learn the tuba, make home-made shoes or open a penguin hotel if you really wanted to (although I’d maybe stick with the tuba thing).

Whatever it is, you already have natural confidence that will make it simpler.

Maybe, you’ve just forgotten what it looks like.

This will help you remember. Bookmark it and use it when you need it.

1. What do you do in your life where the question of whether you can do it or not never arises?

It might be something you do at home (like cooking a great dinner, painting a great picture, laughing with your partner or anything else), it might be something at work (like taking part in a meeting, writing a report, leading a team or anything else) or it might be something you do while out and about (like hitting the gym, going for a run, ordering wine in a restaurant or anything else).

Just think of one thing you do where there’s no question in your mind about your capability. Something you just trust yourself to do.

2. Now look at something specific you do or something you have coming up where you’re lacking confidence. Whether at home, at work or out and about, what do you do or what are you about to do that has you doubting things or wanting to run and hide?

3. What’s the thought that’s triggered in the second situation that isn’t there in the first? What do you tell yourself in this second situation?

4. How do you feel when that thought appears in your head? When you think that thought, what feeling emerges?

5. What’s the impact of this feeling on what you do? How does this feeling affect your subsequent behaviour?

6. Now go back to the first situation. What’s the thought that’s triggered here that isn’t there in the second? Or perhaps, what thought is absent in the first situation that is there in the second?

7. How do you feel when this thought appears in your head, or what feeling emerges when this thought is absent?

8. How does this feeling affect your behaviour? What impact does this feeling have on what you do?

9. What’s a better thought you can have the next time you’re faced with a low-confidence situation like the one you identified above in question 2? What’s a different, simpler or more enabling thought you can have in a situation where you’d ordinarily expect to be lacking confidence?

10. What insights or conclusions are there here?  If there was something for you to learn, what could it be?

You already have natural confidence.

Now it’s just a case of applying it.


  • I agree that we have the natural confidence to be who we want to be, but sometimes, we need a push to get us to that point. I think for a lot of people faking some confidence might be a way to start before we can actually get to the natural point.

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