ER was the biggest TV show around back in the day. I stopped watching ER when Dr Carter left the show, but one thing always stayed with me.
“You set the tone” became something of a meme for the show, a means for doctors to pass on the responsibility not just of the work of saving lives, but of how everyone went about saving those lives.
Way before I lead anything myself, this changed the way I saw the role of a leader, and I found it compelling. I started looking at the leaders I'd worked with, noticing what they did that set the tone in good ways and bad ways, whether they knew it or not.
Setting the Wrong Tone
- Never finishing work on time and assuming others will do the same
- Turning up late to a meeting, seeding stress, then bouncing early to another meeting
- Bad-mouthing someone but thinking it's just "banter"
- Redoing someone’s work without involving them or providing a rationale
- Emailing late at night or on the weekend and expecting people to respond
- Demanding something irrelevant from a team member without context or reasoning
- Criticising the way something was done purely because it wasn't how they have always done it
Setting the Right Tone
- Being calm and clear when the shit hits the fan
- Hearing what people were saying, not insisting to be heard
- Offering feedback that builds and supports
- Valuing peoples’ time
- Nurturing a focus on great work over busy work
- Knowing when to direct and when to allow
- Protecting people from the politics
Setting the tone was an idea I carried through into my own leadership. I haven’t always got it right, but it's been a powerful idea that's helped me keep a light hand on the rudder and treat people right.
I've made space for people to verbalise their stresses and concerns. I've shown up with a sense of ease even at the most challenging times. I've invited people to go find solutions, even if I knew what the situation required.
Check Your Tone
The energy you bring as a leader is the energy people pick up on.
That goes for when the sailing is smooth, but especially so when things get choppy and the waves are crashing all around.
If you're focused on the tone other people are setting and haven't looked at your own, start now. If you're running on empty or stressed out of your mind, start now. If you're struggling to make progress or find meaning in your work, start now.
You have to set your own tone first, because that's what you experience.
And as demonstrated by Dr Morgenstern, Dr Greene and Dr Carter, the tone you set as a leader becomes part of your legacy.
So check your tone, and see if it's what you'd chose.